I'm a Throw-Away Kid That Nobody
Wants
By Chaplain Dean Weber, Mary Kendall Campus
 “Face it," Mallory
said casually “I’m a throw-away kid that nobody wants.”
Mallory and I were sitting in the front lobby of the Mary Kendall Girls Residential
facility. She had just been admitted to our program the day before. It was
my first conversation with the sixteen year old teenager.
Mallory was pale with dark circles under her eyes. Her blond hair hung limp
on her shoulders. Mallory hid behind her clothing—several sizes too big
for her thin figure.
“You just eventually come to realize that no one wants you, no one cares
about you, no one notices if you just disappear. That’s my life,” Mallory
said.
Mallory considered herself a throw-away since infancy. Her birth was
an inconvenient aggravation amidst her parent’s lifestyle. Mallory, and her older sister
and brother, raised themselves in a household where screaming and physical violence
were a daily fare. She learned early to melt into the background when her father,
who was high on drugs or reeling with alcohol, would quarrel with their mother
and blows would be exchanged. Then, one day, Mallory’s dad just disappeared
with no warning at all; he was just gone.
When Mallory was seven years old, her Mother dropped them off for an
overnight stay with their Aunt and Uncle. Three days later, Mallory’s mother called
from Florida—1500 miles away. She wasn’t coming back. She had abandoned
her three children.
Mallory remembers crying and begging on the phone with her mother,
asking "Mama,
why don’t you want us anymore?" Her mother gave no response and
hung up.
Her Aunt and Uncle didn’t want three kids either. They made regular references
to Mallory’s uninvited presence. She became an unpaid servant.
In her new home, nothing Mallory did was good enough— she was constantly
berated and criticized. Then, the physical abuse started. First, it was just
small bruises from being pushed and grabbed, then real injuries from being
hit and knocked against walls and to the ground.
Unexpectedly, two years later, her absent and sober father
showed up. He took her older brother and sister with him, and
told Mallory he didn’t want
her. Abandoned again, the physical abuse continued.
By the time Mallory came to us, she had no self-esteem and
distrusted everyone. When she did find someone who appeared
solid, Mallory would latch on to staff members with a suffocating
urgency—clinging fiercely.
At the Kentucky United Methodist Homes for Children and Youth, we
work intently to ‘heal’ Mallory. On a daily basis, we intentionally build her
self-esteem and help her find value in her gifts and talents. We provide therapeutic
counseling to help her understand that the abandonment fears are her NOT her
fault. We offer her safe shelter and care for her medical needs. Mallory will
go to high school and continue her education.
Staff members will care for, cry with, celebrate with,
and rebuild her one day at a time. We will teach her a
new concept—Jesus’ unconditional love.
She will no longer see herself as a ‘throw-away kid’, but instead
see the special child of God that she is.
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